Tonight was a good night. Tigers 3-2 Yankees. Since the Royals have not made it to the postseason in my lifetime, my biggest October desire is to see the Yankees lose. I despise the Yankees, to an extent not normally seen outside top tier football leagues. (Look at my tweets during game five if you doubt me.) I also despise several Yankees individually. Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Nick Swisher are the three that spring most readily to mind, and the fact that two of them struck out with the bases loaded in the seventh gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I won’t say that I despise all Yankee fans, but I have hated every one of them with which I have ever come in contact. The amount of schadenfreude gained from watching 50,000 of them with their heads in their hands is almost incomparable.

The game could hardly have gone better. A blowout would have been fun, but the air of crushing disappointment when Fuck-Rod struck out to end the game was palpable even watching on TV and it was wonderful. A blowout would have been much more gradual, and a lot of the ‘fans’ in attendance would have gone home early, as they did in game seven of the 2004 ALCS. It’s fun, but it’s not as fun. Also a blowout would not have involved Fuck-Rod striking out with the tying run on second in the seventh inning, and you can’t put a price on that sort of thing. (In fact, Fuck-Rod struck out three times to finish his ALDS 2-18. It’s those sort of numbers that give me faith in humanity.)

There isn’t a cloud in the sky here. The moon is out and it’s quite warm in spite of the lateness of the hour and the month. And the New York Yankees and their fans will have six months of drinking their own tears.

I’m very disappointed that the Yankees forced a game five. I really didn’t think they would, but not so much due to the immediate stats. Whilst AJ Burnett had an ERA above five in the regular season, and 6.99 in his last ten starts, he got enough run support to go 3-2 in that stretch. Porcello, meantime, had an ERA in his last ten starts of 5.28, so I didn’t expect either pitcher to last long (Burnett was very lucky to only give up one run).

Why I really expected the Yankees to fail was because of their decidedly ordinary record recently in the ALDS. In the 21st century they have a record of 22-18. It’s not bad, mind, but it’s not great. If you throw out their record against the Twins, however, it drops to just 10-16. (As an aside: Both losses against the Twins were in New York. In Minnesota in the ALDS the Yankees are 7-0.) When facing elimination in game four the Yankees had lost three out of their previous four (lost to the Angels in 2002, beat the Angels in 2005, lost to the Tigers in 2006 and lost to the Indians in 2007).

So the Yankees have done well to force a game five, and now it’s a rematch of game one (sort of). They have home field advantage, but I think the Tigers will win. (I really, really hope I’m right this time.) Doug Fister is, I am convinced, a better pitcher than Ivan Nova (game one notwithstanding). I don’t think Nova will succumb to the pressure of the occasion, but I do think that he will be outpitched. Alex Rodriguez, on the other hand, will succumb to the pressure or whatever it is that causes him to play like he’s too busy copulating with himself to remember how to use a bat in the month of October. (The simplest explanation is often the best, and I suspect the reason he plays like that is because he’s too busy copulating with himself in the dugout to remember how to use a bat.)

I hope I’m right though, because I really f*cking hate the Yankees.